Here we go...

So, I guess this is my first blog. I have been contemplating starting a blog for a while now, and I guess it's finally time. This first blog is going to give a background of who I am. For those of you who know me, I am going to share some things I've kept to myself for a while and that you may have never heard. I am a pretty private person, and not one who likes to share my struggles. However, I feel that God has given me a story and it's a story I want to share in hopes that it will touch and maybe even help someone else. I am not looking for attention or sympathy, but really just want to share some things I've gone through and what it has taught and is continuing to teach me. I see this blog as a way to share things about my faith, my hopes, my loves, and my life! (Hence, the title!)

So a little background.. I am blessed to be married to my wonderful high school sweetheart, Allen! We started dating in 2002, were engaged in 2007, and married in 2008. We have 3 wonderful dogs, Callie, Congo and Jack! And here is our most recent story:

In September 2010, Allen and I decided we wanted to start a family. We figured it might take a few months to get pregnant, but we hoped to have a child by 2011. After a few months, we weren't pregnant and I went to the doctor, where I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I was put on fertility medication and we continued to hope and pray for a child. In June of 2011, we found out we were pregnant.. we were ecstatic! I had some complications early on, so we didn't tell anyone other than family. We went for an ultrasound in July and were devastated to see nothing. After some tests, it was confirmed that I had an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy and there was no chance of survival for our baby. We were crushed. So, we waited a few months (doctors orders), went back on the medication, and got pregnant again! We found out in December and once again we were thrilled, but obviously scared. I went for several tests and things were looking great, until one day, they weren't. My levels were dropping - I was having another miscarriage. As I'm sure you can imagine, we were heartbroken, frustrated, and more than disappointed.

Through all of this, we asked God.. why? Why us? We serve you and praise you, why are you punishing us? I know now this sounds ridiculous. Over the past few months, God has taught Allen and I both so much. For starters, we don't deserve anything. We have been given God's grace and mercy through salvation and that in and of it self is more than we could ever ask for. Not to mention we have wonderful family, friends, church, job, and so much more. We are abundantly blessed. Secondly, God didn't do this TO us. He may have allowed these things to happen and not prevented them, but He wasn't punishing us. He has a plan, much bigger than anything we can imagine. These struggles we are enduring are making us stronger people, strengthening our relationship with Christ, and one another, and giving us a story to share about the mercy, grace, forgiveness, and presence of Jesus in our lives.

That is the short story for now. As I continue to blog, I am sure you will see more of what God has done and is doing in our life. Not all of my posts are going to be this serious, hopefully most of them will be lighthearted and fun! But, I first and foremost do want you to know how thankful we are for where we are in life and for what God has taught and is continuing to teach us daily!